As relieving as it is to unload all that junk you had at dinner yesterday, your session is a lot easier in the comfort of your own home than anywhere else. You don’t even have to think twice, just head to the toilet and do your business!
It’s quite a bit more complicated, however, when you have to do your business somewhere other than at home. Imagine how awkward it is to poop at work, for example!
There’s just something really, really off-putting about other people knowing you are doing the business that really gets your discomfort meter through the roof. I’ve had this experience at a lot of other public places too so I can relate as well!
So here are a couple of things that you can do to help yourself out when you have the sudden urge to poop at work to make it less complicated.
Poop & Flush At the Same Time
So the first way to prevent any kind of awkward situations when you’re in the toilet is to minimize the time you spend taking a poop, to begin with.
With this quick-fire poop technique, you have to unload everything in your system out at the same time and then flush the toilet to end the poop before anyone else even has a clue about what’s going on inside the toilet.
This technique will be very effective in a number of ways, provided you can generate the thrust needed to unload the entire load from your abdomen. It will help mask ‘that sound’, you know the one I’m talking about!
The number one tell anyone about what’s going on inside the toilet is that noise for sure! Second of all, by flushing whatever you put out into the toilet as soon as it all comes out, you eliminate the smell of poop from disseminating through the toilet.
Mask the Smell
One of the top reasons people don’t like to poop at work is because they tend to leave behind an unpleasant smell. This is particularly rough if you work in a small office with just a single bathroom.
Luckily, there are some things you can do to mask the smell of poop at work. Skip the noticeable canned air sprays though. These sprays just mix in with the foul air, and everyone will know what you just did in the bathroom.
Instead, I highly recommend a spray like Poo-Pourri. You spray it in the toilet before you poop, and it stops the smell right at the source, before it has a chance to spread throughout the entire bathroom.
I keep a bottle on-hand in my desk, and it’s small enough to carry in your pocket so nobody knows!
Put Down a Layer of Toilet Paper
Another thing you can do to mask that noise of stool dropping is to put in a layer of toilet paper inside the toilet to take the impact of the stool.
Sure, it is a waste of good toilet paper but if you need to avoid an awkward confrontation the moment you step outside of the toilet, you’ll want to mask the sounds as well as you can and given that you have to make the best of everything that is available to you at that particular point, it’s worth giving it a shot!
It’s a lot of trouble to avoid these awkward situations so try your best to finish your business at home and don’t eat too much when you’re working maybe!?
If you’re not particularly eager about setting up a base of toilet paper and want to take your time in the toilet, then you’ll need to put your ears to good use. Take your time to squeeze out your stool and be vigilant about hearing whether anyone opens the door to access the washroom.
When you are sure that someone is outside, just sit there and wait until they leave. Knowing that someone is relieving themselves of his or her load is quite a bit different to actually hearing noises they’re making in the process and I’m pretty sure most people would prefer the former in this instance!
However, this technique is only viable if you’re in a place with multiple toilet booths as otherwise, the person is going to wait for you to finish your business if they have to go badly as well. You can’t keep it in forever now, can you!
If you know that it’s going to be one of those sessions in the toilet and it’ll be some unavoidable calamity, consider doing your business somewhere other than inside the premises of your work; maybe your nearest shopping mall or fast food joint.
Doing the big load in public places is almost never a fun experience but if you are going to leave a big mess, at least avoid the embarrassment of having to meet your colleagues after they know about the mess you made by doing it somewhere only strangers have to deal with it!
If you have some next level anxiety about pooping at work, however, do consider waiting to go to the toilet until things have calmed down there. Usually, people are going to be in a rush to go to the toilet in the first hour or so after lunch, for example, so if you are someone who is going to go the extra mile to avoid that kind of awkwardness, then consider going during the lunch break or after an hour or two after the end of the break.
Again, you might want to still consider the other techniques mentioned here already such as making your session as short as possible to avoid meeting anyone and having that awkward interaction.
Finally, I know it’s not a good virtue to lie but sometimes, you have to do what you need to in order to save face! So suppose you’ve just come out of the toilet after leaving a terrible smell and a proper mess!
The colleague with their seat opposite to yours is heading towards you. Look them in the eye like an ice-cold killer and tell them to avoid that booth because someone left the worse mess ever in there!
Humans like their comfort zones and as such, we’ll go to some really drastic measures to avoid awkward situations that are way outside our comfort zones. It’s quite normal; we’re very socially complex and despite all these processes being quite natural ones for humans, we tend to take extra care to avoid the embarrassment of having someone in the workplace knowing about our dirty business!
Don’t stress about it too much; it is, after all, something everyone has to do. You aren’t the only one who poops at work, are you?!